Mardi Gras Season Begins With An Epiphany (The Modern Tradition of Morpheus & Nouveau Traditional Chewbacchus)

WE THREE KING(CAKE)S OF ORIENT ARE (NOW AVAILABLE!)

King Cake

‘Tis the Season. Of Yuuuuuuuuum!!!!

January 6th was Epiphany which not only marks the arrival of the Three Wise Men to the manger but the annual arrival of Mardi Gras season to New Orleans (and the arrival of king cakes to local bakeries and groceries! Yippee!) Although Mardi Gras day changes in relation to Ash Wednesday, which changes in relation to Easter, which changes in relation to . . . well, I’m not really sure why Easter hops around like its furry mascot . . . Epiphany is always on the 6th. Thus Mardi Gras season is rushed when Easter falls early, sometimes wrapping up in barely a month, whereas this year’s late date of March 4th provides two full months of revelry.

"Hey, guys. Who brought the cake?"

“Did anyone remember the cake?”

If you’ve been following this blog, however, you know that my preparation and planning started early last fall as I have become increasingly active in Krewe of Morpheus and Intergalactic Krewe of Chewbacchus. While I’m excited about rolling with both krewes, they couldn’t be two more different organizations.

THE MODERN TRADITION

Morpheus Rider in Mask & Robe

Morpheus Rider in Mask & Robe

Morpheus operates in what has become the traditional fashion in modern times, though large parades with elaborate floats only date back to [Read more…]

Read Beans On Monday: Geaux Local–Exploring New Orleans Beyond the French Quarter & Living Like a Local

NOT YOUR TYPICAL TOURIST GUIDE

Geaux Local: Exploring New Orleans Beyond the French Quarter & Living Like a Local

by Eric Sarrett


Rather than reviewing a book this week, I’m sharing a bit about the New Orleans guide that I recently made available on Kindle. You may wonder why, beyond trying to financially support this blog, I chose to write a book for New Orleans tourists when there are so many guides already out there, many of which are exhaustive and comprehensive, having been compiled by publishers who have resources that dwarf my one-man effort to encompass the Crescent City; but the fact that these other guides are so detailed and impersonal is the point. In the Information Age when more content is uploaded in a few hours than created in all of human history up to this century, exhaustive resources can be, well, exhausting. Too much information, too little knowledge.

I’ve purchased such typical guides myself and found  I seldom use them, becoming overwhelmed by an avalanche of information that describes but doesn’t discriminate. I don’t want to know every option, just the best options. Thus, with Geaux Local, my goal is to highlight certain restaurants, bars, and activities that I feel will make for a great experience for New Orleans visitors who are either new or have been a few times but want to dig deeper. Granted, I don’t highlight the only places where you might have a great experience, but if you’re new in town I feel confident that if you follow this advice you will most certainly have a richer experience and discover New Orleans at a level that goes beyond the cursory ‘Big Easy’ clichés that hotel concierges are programmed to recommend. To accomplish this I offer enough options to give readers a choice, but not so many that you are overwhelmed into inaction. Geaux Local is written in a conversational tone, providing advice and recommendations as if you has a close friend in town to narrow down your choices and give insider tips to help you make the most of your time.


However, although recommendations are part of this book, I go beyond the where to the what, when, why, and how to help visitors gain a better understanding of New Orleans and feel comfortable during their visit. More so perhaps than any other in city in the U.S., New Orleans can be as intimidating as it is alluring. It has a reputation for crime and corruptions, and part of its appeal is its quirky culture that includes rituals, social norms, and pronunciations that confound not only first time tourists, but returning visitors. Then there are the patchwork neighborhoods that almost function as independent hamlets  (at one point the city split into three municipalities trying to  cope with this diversity) whose names get thrown around in directions and conversation as if common knowledge, yet seem like Chinese to the unseasoned visitor. I address all these issues and more, such as when to visit to miss the biggest crowds but not the best food and music.

Geaux Local is the guide I wish I would have had when I first visited . . . and even before I moved here . . . for after decades of visiting there was still so much I didn’t know. I’ve only recently become comfortable with the neighborhoods and geography, still stumble over pronunciations for some of the more obscure streets, and continue to learn the peculiarities and unspoken social rituals. Thus I include things like neighborhood and pronunciation guides, advice on how to get around, and some tips to help you feel safe–for you’ll be more confident if you know where you’re going and how to get there.


As a regular visitor over three different decades and a current resident, I’ve gone through and understand what it’s like to approach this city from the outside. I know the questions you’re likely to ask as a New Orleans tourist, because I’ve asked them all myself. People who grew up here or lived here longer may know more about the city, but if you’ve never gone through the process of discovering it anew or are far removed from that experience it can  be difficult to relate to New Orleans visitors who are still both bewitched and bewildered by this unique place.

Below is an overview of the chapters and topics covered within:

I Job Application: Why You Should Hire Me As Your Guide

II How To Act Like A Transplanted Local

  • Why a Transplant?
  • Be Patient & Adjust Your Expectation
  • Dewes
  • Don’ts
  • Neighborhood Guide
  • Pronunciation Guide
  • How To Get Around

III Where To Eat That Locals Enjoy

  • Breakfast
  • Brunch
  • Lunch
  • Dinner
  • Dessert

IV Where To Drink Alongside Local

  • Bars With Good Food
  • Bars With Good Music
  • Bars With Fantastic Happy Hours
  • Bars With a Great Local Vibe
  • 24 Hour Bars Outside The French Quarter

V Who To Listen To That Locals Dig

  • Living Legends
  • New Favorites
  • Up & Coming
  • Choose Your Own Adventure
  • Music Calendars

VI What To Do & See That Locals Enjoy

  • Book Stores
  • Brewery Tours
  • Coffee Shops
  • Parks & Recreation
  • Shopping
  • Where To Find Out What’s Going On
  • Ten Tourist Attractions Worth Paying For

VII What To Read To Immerse Yourself In Local History & Culture

  • Fiction
  • Non-Fiction

VIII When To Visit To Avoid Crowds & Blend In More Easily

IX Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler


So if you’ve never been to New Orleans or have visited a time or two but are looking for expert guidance for your next adventure, I hope you’ll consider purchasing Geaux Local. For the same amount or less than you will likely tip your concierge or cab driver you’ll receive comprehensive advice and guidance from someone who’s been in your shoes. And if you are a local with an expert opinion of your own, feel free to purchase it and contact me with your 2¢–I love a good debate!

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My Krewe Debut: Mor-pheus Fun, Less Drama

DESPERATELY SEEKING KREWESMAN

All Hail The King! (And Happy Birthday!!!)

All Hail The King!
(And Happy Birthday!!!)

After months of searching, querying, and inquiring like Desperately Seeking Krewes-man, Friday night I finally met members of my new home in Krewe of Morpheus. In addition to the monthly meetings that started in August, Morpheus holds two majors social event: The Captain’s Crawl in the French Quarter every spring and this night of booze, buffet, and bowling at Rock-n-Bowl.

The event was scheduled from 7:00-9:30 and I arrived at a quarter after, somehow missing this landmark near my home that I’ve passed a hundred times. Paul Leman, the Morpheus president (I wonder if he has brothers in banking?!), was taking names at the door as I arrived. He asked what float I was on and I shrugged. “Kim . . . something.” I then added that I’d been emailing with Connie Hibben, the membership director who recently gave me the green light to use names, and explained how I joined to blog my experience. He introduced himself and pointed out the lanes reserved for the Krewe and our buffet table, promising to come over and make introductions once he was settled.

TKO BY GUMBO 

The Krewe Congregates

The Krewe Congregates

I spent a few minutes weaving through groups gathered to bowl or just chat, but was a little reticent about making an approach. “Hello, I’m Eric and I just joined out of the blue not knowing a dang soul!” I might as well tattoo NEWBIE on my forehead. I did attempt a few stunted introductions before realizing my admission covered beer and wine, so I fled to the bar and then started mowing through shrimp crostini, mini-pizza’s, chicken wings, and jambalaya. Once again, New Orleans 1, Restraint & Healthy Eating 0!

Fortunately Paul soon wandered over and introduced me to the Krewe Captain, John Beninate who is so Mardi Gras that if he were in an accident, EMTs would have to hang three different blood bags: purple, green, and gold.

John & Judy

John & Judy

John reminded me of [Read more…]

Making the Krewe Cut: My Year of Mardi Gras Joins a Krewe

morpheus-iris-01. . . the Krewe of Morpheus!”

My heart pounded with excitement as I resumed my seat in Panera after startling the entire breakfast crowd and reread the response more carefully the second time.

Hi Eric,

I am sorry it took me so long to get back with you. Life is Crazy!

I read your Blog and see what you are doing—go ahead & put me down as the Lieutenant. I will put you with my float to make sure you have a fantastic time. I mean, everyone has a great time, but this way I will be able to help answer any questions you may have along the way!! You will be on a Super Float—The float will be one of two that holds 60 riders!!

Your Blog is great. I read it off & on all day yesterday. As long as you do not write anything negative, I can connect you with people in our origination that may give you some inside to the ins & outs of the back side of Mardi Gras. A lot of stuff people don’t know about.

I am looking forward to sharing this experience with you!! You will have a blast!!

Morpheus patch blueAs I reveled in this belated birthday news, I did not yet realize that the Krewe of Morpheus derived its name from the Greek and Roman god of dreams. Origin of the word ‘morph,’ Morpheus can assume any shape he desires while you sleep to provide wisdom or reveal the future. Morpheus’s job is to literally make your dreams come true. How appropriate! Apparently I was on the correct path with my pursuit of orpheus, it’s just that in true Sesame Street fashion I needed [Read more…]

A Blogging Pirate Looks At Forty

IT’S MIDNIGHT AND I’M NOT A FAMOUS PIRATE YET

Weird BeardWell here I sit looking back on it all. One of my rationalizations for quitting my job and embarking on this adventure was to take a mulligan on my literary dreams and ambitions as forty approached. Now that it has arrived, I can’t help but reflect upon all that’s led me to this point.

My favorite song has long been “A Pirate Looks at Forty,” and back when I lived in Virginia and attended Buffett shows three times a summer I’d dress like a pirate and stroll around with my guitar during the tailgating, which was as much the draw as the show. Soon I was recognized as simply ‘The Pirate’ by the returning faithful and pirate imitators started springing up in the Virginia/Maryland/North Carolina triangle. Yes, of all the crazy costumes at this annual bacchanalia I was the original pirate. Never, though, did it seem possible that someday I’d actually be that pirate looking at 40, and much like the subject of that song—a real Buffett compatriot in those early Key West days, not some escapist fictional conjuring—I feel like a man meant for another era floating outside the mainstream rather than marking the years with those typical adult mile-markers: wife, kids, promotion, retirement, regret.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=JZHNSrl9KsU

Perhaps I don’t feel 40 because  [Read more…]

If Love Is A Red Dress, Well Dress Me In Drag

MANLY MEN IN RED EVENINGWEAR

DSC02876 DSC02877

You were my angel, now you are real.

So like a stranger, colder than steel.

The morning after no one should brag.

If love is a red dress, well hang me in rags.

DSC02880I don’t know if Pulp Fiction is the greatest movie ever made (I could be swayed) but I’m pretty certain its soundtrack is the best ever assembled. (Making The Statler Brothers hip is in itself accomplishment enough to assure Quentin Tarantino’s genius!) The night before returning to New Orleans I streamed this classic for the first time in years and and wound up with one of its lesser known tunes, “If Love Is a Red Dress,” stuck in my head. I should have taken this as a sign to rush out and buy one that fits for that first weekend back every manly man in New Orleans donned the most outrageous red lady’s wear he could find and took the the streets of the French Quarter.

RUNNING WITH A SIDE OF BEER & BREASTS

RED DRESS 1The previous Thursday I’d returned to Two Tony’s to chat with New Orleans Guardian Angel/Cajun Jedi Master Pat Thompson. On my last visit he’d pontificated on [Read more…]

Read Beans On Monday: Interview With Gumbo Tales Author Sarah Roahen

Sarah Roahen at Hansen'sLast Monday I reviewed one of my favorite New Orleans books, Gumbo Tales. Last week author Sara Roahen was gracious enough to meet me at her beloved Hansen’s Sno-Bliz shop so I could pick her brain while we indulged our frozen cravings. (She had Rootbeer. I had Cream of Nectar and Cream of Ice Cream!)

One of the things I love about Gumbo Tales is that, although it’s about New Orleans food, you also talk a lot about its history and culture. When you started writing, what goals did you have in mind?

I wrote restaurant reviews for Gambit [Weekly] for about four years. That was really my first writing job. I was a line cook between college and then. It was a great way for me to get to know the city and learn how to eat here, but I was more interested in the historical and cultural stuff—the really quirky things about New Orleans that were so new to me and the unique relationship people have with food here. I was trying to figure out how to write more about that but wasn’t finding a way to in Gambit. That wasn’t Gambit’s fault. It was my fault for not being able to do two things at once. I’m actually a really slow writer and horrible at multi-tasking. It’s no way to make a living, but that’s just how my brain works.

So I decided to make it into a book and had an agent who was working with me who pushed me in that direction. A lot changed in the course of writing but the structure took form in my head while I was still writing for Gambit. I knew there were these things that I wanted to write about in a more in-depth, first person, ‘how cool is this’ kind of way. I had all these legal pads full of ideas like how weird a crawfish boil is.  Having a ‘Gumbo’ chapter, having a ‘Sno-ball’ chapter, that sort of filing system was in my head from early on.

Also, near the end of writing restaurant reviews for four years and living here for close to five, I started feeling

[Read more…]

New Orleans Tourist to New Orleans Tenant: The Voice Part 1 (Existential Sonar Pings)

PICTURESQUE TROPICAL FRAMES

20130523_133836

Strolling Tropical Streets

Although I’m back in New Orleans, my need to reflect and process continues after months of frantic, unrelenting madness running from Mardi Gras to Jazz Fest, so to clear my head this morning I ambled through quaint back streets of Uptown for a long stroll to Slim Goodies for breakfast with Trombone Shorty on my i-pod. I returned last night in time for this repeat appearance by Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue at Wednesdays in the Square following their triumphant set closing out Jazz Fest, and I was still buzzing this morning from their bouncing melodies. The summer heat and humidity is just setting in, prompting a light and pleasant sweat, and the air was filled with fragrant blooming flowers I can’t identify but that stir my soul nonetheless. As I wandered along my eyes feasted on the vibrant and historic architecture that these spring blooms enveloped in picturesque tropical frames.

Victorian Gothic

Victorian Gothic

In Bloom

In Bloom

WEALTH WITHOUT VISION VS WEIRDNESS ON STERIODS

Slim Goodies for Breakfast After 40 Minute Stroll

Slim Goodies for Breakfast After 40 Minute Stroll

I moved here from tropical north Florida yet in nearby Ponte Vedra Beach, the richest enclave north of West Palm, the limitless money on display displays no imagination. I have always been disillusioned by the prominent faux-Spanish McMansions that are photo-copied and crowded along the shore as monuments to wealth without vision. To the south, St. Augustine provides a welcome contrast with its tropical gardens, southern Victorian porch-and-column architecture, and artistic quirkiness. Uptown New Orleans is more like the latter if St. Augustine had bred like rabbits and juiced up its weirdness and creativity on ‘roids.

Tropical Sidewalks In Bloom

Tropical Sidewalks In Bloom

Who Wouldn't Want To Live In This House With These Street Corner Names?

Who Wouldn’t Want To Live In This House With These Street Corner Names?

 

 

 

 

MAGNIFICENT MANSIONS, QUAINT COTTAGES, & VISUAL NON-SEQUITURS

Candy Land!

Candy Land!

The Garden District is the most famous iteration of Victorian southern architecture in New Orleans with it’s mansions of towering columns, wrapping wooden porches, massive shuttered windows revealing peeks into elegant parlors, and lush gardens; yet all of Uptown reflects this aesthetic if to a smaller, quainter scale.

20130523_112347Granted, current denizens can’t take credit for the historic architecture, but they have embraced the spirit. There is no cookie-cutter conformity in this city where it’s a virtue to stand out and march to a different drum. Each house is unique, as is every street, and every resident seeks to add their own touch. As I perused this individuality on display one house caught my attention and I had to stop for a photograph. The rocking chairs and tropical vegetation brought to mind Key West while the beads hanging from the Medieval porch ornament and colorful wreath by the door were pure New Orleans (as was the decorative iron fence). Yet that rusty suit of armor provided a pleasant thematic non sequitur perhaps hinting at some unknown predilection by the owner. Such tiny but captivating details are the fuel that fire a writer’s imagination. There may be a short story hiding on that front porch just waiting for my discovery.

FIESTY FIFTIES, SULTRY SIXTIES, & JIVE AT SEVENTY-FIVE

20130522_183247In much of the world creativity is the domain of youth but in this city age is no excuse for a fading imagination. During Jazz Fest I was thrilled to see twenty-somethings sing along to Billy Joel and Fleetwood Mac. In contrast, last night as Trombone Shorty turbo-charged his jazz with hard rock, driving funk, hip-hop rhythms, and rap-inflected lyrics, there were locals in their fifties and sixties dancing joyously along; seventy-five year old legend Allen Toussaint even came on stage to lead a call-and-response rap.

20130522_190603I’ve always felt that if you only listen to the music of your generation then you don’t love music—you love fitting in. Nowhere is this more apparent than in this city where past and future collide on a daily basis. I’ve said it time and time again—people who think New Orleans is stuck in the past are fools. This is a city mines the beauty and wisdom of the past as it thoughtfully wades into the future as opposed to rushing forward without direction.

BULGING GUTS, BURSTING INSEAMS, & JAZZ HAND WHERE THEY SHOULDN’T BE

610 Stompers On Parade

610 Stompers On Parade

As for the need to stand out, there can be few better examples of the 610 Stompers who took the stage before Trombone Shorty. Mardi Gras parade staples, this group of young to middle-aged men wear knee socks, head bands, nylon short shorts, and seventies color-contrast t-shirts, executing dance routines filled with hip thrusts that accentuate bulging waists and bursting back inseams, leg kicks of unathletic grace and height, and jazz hands where jazz hands shouldn’t be. Composed mostly of professionals, these men certainly aren’t making money but are becoming parade favorites. This city rewards weirdness and these guys have found a way to be of New Orleans even while working very American corporate day jobs.

610 Stompers On Stage

610 Stompers On Stage

I have always beaten a unique path, so this celebration of weirdness drew me here as much as the embrace of deeper culture, and this melding of high art and lowball self-expression unfolded in perfect metaphor as the 610 Stompers ceded the stage to perhaps the city’s most talented and promising young musician. While he’s clearly an entertainer with his brash, engaging, and—I’ll just say it—badass swagger, at twenty-seven Trombone Shorty also displays the musical depth and genius of a legend in the making. It was a transcendent moment and just another night in New Orleans.

EXISTENTIAL SONAR PINGS

Iowa Gumbo? Another Competing Voice

Iowa Gumbo?
Another Competing Voice

Thus I’m basking in the moment, living in a city where every walk is a visual feast; every bar a sonic awakening; every meal a gustatory temptation; and every day an infinite promise of the strange and unanticipated. Yet living in the presence of such brilliance can also inspire existential sonar pings, bouncing your self-doubt off unseen shadows in the future’s murky depths. Some days I feel quietly confident while others I fear I’m just mildly delusional as I actively and aggressively seeking to connect with the local creative scene, sniffing whiffs of imminent triumph that are always followed by reminders of ‘two steps forward, one step back.’ Thus as I walk I reflect and wonder if I can find The Voice in this chaotic chorus of competing counter melodies to forge these writings into something more than just a personal indulgence.

TO BE CONTINUED . . . .

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Top Ten New Orleans Jazz Fest Foods

Jazzfest2013 Me at WidespreadThe food at the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival is as much a draw as the music, especially for locals for whom much of the music is ubiquitous while this culinary collection is unique to Jazz Fest. In fact, Jazz Fest is the best restaurant in New Orleans. Standards such as the gumbo and jambalaya on this list are amongst the best I’ve had while favorites such as Crawfish MonicaCrawfish Bread, and Crawfish Sacks are rarely if ever seen elsewhere. Thus, I had a blast spending seven days trying new offerings, giving in to temptation to return for seconds only 3 times. Not coincidentally, these three items top my list.

I don’t claim to have eaten everything at Jazz Fest–there are hundreds of options–but I kept a keen eye on what was popular with attendees, read other food blogs and articles to learn consensus favorites, and made sure I tried every uber-unique concoction as well as timeless staple. Ethnic foods such as many Asian and Caribbean options didn’t hit my radar. You don’t hold a clam bake on a mountain ridge or stew venison on the beach. When in Rome…. Being unique to Jazz Fest earns additional bonus points, though quality is equally important. Value, while a minor consideration, still factors in. For example, the Fried Soft-Shell Crab P0-Boy isn’t outrageous at $9, but the crabs can be small and I’ve had better so it barely missed the list (#11?!). At $4, though, the Stuffed Artichoke will stuff you! It’s a steal, leap-frogging the crab even though soft-shells are one of my favorite foods.  So whether you’re a newbie looking for a place to start or a veteran looking to debate, here’s my Top Ten Foods of Jazz Fest:  [Read more…]

From New Orleans Visitor To New Orleans Visionary (Why I Write In & About New Orleans)

VISION OF A CITY FULL OF VISIONARIES

Why Would THIS Guy Want To Move To New Orleans?!

Why Would THIS Guy Want To Move To New Orleans?!

Okay, so the title of this post sounds a little conceited, but I’ve been working on a catchy title for some time and this was the best I could do. Besides, it fits for, though I may not be some transcendent, visionary artist, I do have a vision of New Orleans growing into a city full of visionaries. People frequently ask me why I moved to New Orleans: “You can write anywhere!” Yes, but, in addition to my long love affair with this city and the fact that there’s so much beauty, weirdness, brilliance, and absurdity to document on a daily basis, New Orleans is going through an artistic Renaissance and I’m hoping to hitch my wagon to its shooting star of synergy.

Unlikeable Protagonist; Unlikely Pulitzer Prize

Unlikable Protagonist;
Unlikely Pulitzer Prize

Since moving here I have read many sources state in many ways (and have observed enough to agree) that New Orleans is in a historic period of artistic rebirth.  Granted, this has always been world-renowned as a creative city, but the artistic commodity it has produced has largely been relegated to a niche market. Some singers have made a national splash from [Read more…]