My Year of Mardi Gras: The TV Show?!?

June 16, 2014 by

POTENTIAL GAME CHANGER

Yoda Pat Pontificates While Bartending at Two Tony's (Or Demonstrates How a T-Rex Eats Red Gravy!)

Yoda Pat Pontificates While Bartending at Two Tony’s
(Or Demonstrates How a T-Rex Eats Red Gravy!)

An interesting wrinkle cropped up last week while I contemplated my future and the future of this blog. Since Mardi Gras I have pondered whether to stay in town and double down on my writing aspirations or move back to Florida and move forward compiling my adventure as a memoir. Although returning would feel a little like a retreat, I have deeper roots and more therapy opportunities in Florida (and I certainly need to refill the coffers after my year-long adventure!) Whatever I decide, I will continue to blog and participate in Mardi Gras. It’s just a matter of focus and priority. I intend to stay connected, marching in Chewbacchus and rolling with Morpheus no matter where I live; frequent down I-10 have become old hat by now. The question is whether to continue to make New Orleans my daily reality or return it to the status of my favorite escape from real life.

My lease ends this month and my roommate is reuniting with his wife so the pressure of the decision has increasingly weighed on me considering I’ll be homeless in two weeks. Perhaps it would be easier just to move back to Florida, go back to work, and resume writing on the side.

Just when it seemed cut and dried, though, my friend Yoda Pat sent me a Facebook invitation that could change everything. [Read more…]

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My Low Carb Lent, Part 2: From St. Patrick’s Day Temptation To Nerd Croquet Elation

May 14, 2014 by

THE TRANSPLANT TWENTY-FIVE

Greg Cartwright Gathers The Nerds While Doing a Nerd's Literal Interpretation of a Keg Stand

Greg Cartwright Gathers The Nerds While Doing a Nerd’s Literal Interpretation of a Keg Stand

Last weekend I attended The All Chewbachus Spring Croquet Invitational and B-B Chew, a Chewbacchus ‘related’ (though not ‘officially sanctioned’ as even sci-fi walking parades in the Marigny have gone legit with insurance disclaimers) ‘Gathering of the Nerds.’ Held on the banks of the Mississippi River at a park below Audubon Zoo called ‘The Fly’ (for reasons unknown to me), this picnic and croquet free-for-all included many of the same attendees that were at the St. Patrick’s Day party I attended two months ago just as I was starting My Low Carb Lent. Happily, fifteen to twenty pounds less of me showed up this past Sunday, for that party two months ago had been the first major test I would face.

nerds gather 2Now that Jazz Fest is over, the event this weekend provided a nice gateway through which to return to the early days of my quest to correct the dietary sins of My Year of Mardi Gras. Eschewing New Orleans living may seem an odd direction for this blog, but most transplants I talk to have had a similar experience; it’s like gaining your ‘freshmen fifteen’ in college, only your ‘transplant twenty-five’ tends to come at a time in your life when your metabolism has slowed and you can’t simply lose weight by exercising a bit and skipping the desert line for a few weeks!

PUTTING THE ‘S’ IN HOLI-DAY

What do Star Wars Nerds Do At A Picnic....

What do Star Wars Nerds Do At A Picnic….

Observing Lent in New Orleans is no easy matter, despite the heavily ritualistic Catholic culture. After the mass consumption of Mardi Gras the city may aspire to forty-seven days of fasting (if you count the Sundays, which is apparently a debatable point), but there are just too many good reasons to party here. Forty-seven days quickly gives way to four-to-seven days, and broken Lents come especially quickly in a year [Read more…]

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My Low Carb Lent, Part 1: Quitting Pie Disguised As Piety

April 23, 2014 by

BOY, YOU’RE GOING TO CARRY THAT WEIGHT (A LONG TIME)

Puffy Pirate Face (W/Aimee Who Planted Idea For My Low Carb Lent)

Puffy Pirate Face
(W/Aimee Who Planted Idea For My Low Carb Lent)

I awoke on Ash Wednesday feeling exhausted and uncertain. My Year of Mardi Gras had run its course. What next? Should I stick around for another year and see if things finally took off or chalk it up to life experience and move on to the next adventure?

trash-golden-slumbers-and-carry-that-weight-appleAsh Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent—a period of fasting and reflection—and these questions would dominate my soul-searching from the start, March 5th, through its end on Easter this past Sunday. During this seven weeks of calm after the storm of Mardi Gras I made progress but didn’t come to a decision.

My Year of Mardi Gras has certainly been eventful throughout all the ups and down, changing my perspective and giving me memories to carry through life. Unfortunately, it also helped me accumulate some things I didn’t want to carry any longer. Fortunately, I did manage to make some gains (or losses) in this area.

A MOMENTARY LAPSE OF REASON

pink_floyd-a_momentary_lapse_of_reason-frontalAnyone who’s read the introductory pages to this online memoir knows that the idea for this adventure originated in the wake of a bad breakup. In past relationships I’ve stayed too long or missed the warning signs or made missteps, but that particular debacle is the only relationship [Read more…]

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Fat Tuesday 2014: The Curtain Falls On My Year of Mardi Gras

April 9, 2014 by

WISER THAN WET

IMG_3911

Later That Night At Blue Nile….

After a joyous and unforgettable climax to a momentous and often tumultuous journey, My Year of Mardi Gras ended with a whimper. Granted, I still live in New Orleans and this ‘year’ lasted nearly thirteen months as my journey began with my arrival in town on February 7th for Mardi Gras 2013 on the 12th while Fat Tuesday fell a month later this year on March 4th; however, in a narrative sense my self-selected year-ish time clock wound down on a cold, rainy, muted Tuesday.

The Purple, Green & Gold Pirate at the French Market

The Purple, Green & Gold Pirate at the French Market

Carnival Season 2014 had seen some of the most dramatic temperature swings in New Orleans history, and the excellent weather of the preceding weekend had turned chilly on Lundi Gras. Then that night a heavy, frigid rain began to fall. The rain had stopped when I awoke Mardi Gras morning, but the ground was damp and the sky heavy with gray clouds threatening the next deluge.

Lovely Lady Pirate Sidekick

Lovely Lady Pirate Sidekick

I only had one guest left in town by now, and we were planning to walk with the KOE, an online organization that used to parade as [Read more…]

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Mardi Gras Madness: A Sunday Retreat

March 29, 2014 by

NOW THAT’S N’AWLINS

Thoth Rolls Down Magazine

Thoth Rolls Down Magazine

If I had been dragging Saturday after my huge day riding in Morpheus, Sunday morning I was absolutely spent. We’d been going non-stop since my guests had arrived on Thursday. Heck, my Mardi Gras had actually begun two weekends prior when my brother visited for Krewe du Vieux followed the next weekend by my crazy walk with Intergalactic Krewe of Chewbacchus. I’d been running on pure adrenalin and college levels of alcohol but it was now catching up with me.

Along with the fatigue of revving in the red too long, my legs were swollen and aching after standing all day on that tiny float (though my crappy diet that weekend hardly helped). Fortunately, we had a relaxed day planned. My friend Maggie McKeown, whose bookstore sadly closed in January, had invited us to watch the Mid-City and Thoth parades. Her neighbors host a block party every year and she wanted to share this view of Mardi Gras deep Uptown off the main thoroughfare of St. Charles. Though I’d seen parades from many vantage points, I’d not been amongst a group of tight-knit neighbors who have gathered for twenty years. Now that’s N’Awlins!

ONE CITY, ONE BIG FAMILY

Lazily Watching Thoth

Lazily Watching Thoth

Kyle was still clinging to illusions of [Read more…]

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Mardi Gras Guests & Playing Host: Paying It Forward

March 19, 2014 by

THE WAY BACK MARDI GRAS MACHINE

Beads Hung To Tantalize The Crowds

Mission Accomplished

By riding in Morpheus the Friday before Mardi Gras and walking with Chewbacchus the weekend prior I was able to compare and contrast the two approaches and fulfill one of the main goals of this blog: To experience and write about Mardi Gras as an insider and host rather than an observer and guest.

My Three Guests: A Late But Memorable First Night

My Three Guests:
A Late But Memorable First Night

Although these two parades were certainly pinnacles, my Mardi Gras 2014 adventure was far from over. Moreover, it was enhanced by not only playing host in the larger sense of participating in parades, but in the more personal sense (as is traditional) of opening my home to three friends whom I’ve already introduced. Inviting Mardi Gras guests and playing host holds particular resonance for me as I look back to the hospitality extended to me as I first experienced this amazing festival which shocked me with its breadth and scope. Like so many others, I came in believing it was merely the world’s biggest block party where flashing and drunkenness were practically perquisites. I was shocked to find this was the exception, not the rule, and so as I write about how it felt to now extend this hospitality and education to Carnival newbies, I feel the need to take a trip to the Way Back when I arrived in town wide eyed and undereducated.

LOOKING BACK & PAYING IT FORWARD

Melvin Back to Volunteer In 1996

Melvin Back to Volunteer In 1996

I first fell in love with New Orleans when I drove from Tallahassee for Jazz Fest 1998, returning the next year and having an even greater time though I wouldn’t have thought that possible. Just after Jazz Fest 1999, though, I moved to Richmond, Virginia to attend the Occupational Therapy program at VCU and wouldn’t have a break (or a dime) during Jazz Fest 2000. I was bummed out, but Karen Walsh, a friend who lived outside of New Orleans that I knew from Camp Easter Seals, had extended an open invitation to come stay during Mardi Gras. When I realized at the last minute [Read more…]

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Riding In a Mardi Gras Parade: Morpheus 2014, part 3

March 14, 2014 by

JUMPING UP & DOWN, DANCING, & HAVING FUN (‘NUFF SAID)

Around the time my guests who’d I barely glimpsed receded behind our Jefferson Avenue float at the mouth of Lee Circle, fellow rider Debbie Cleary Rayor (who provided the video last post) experienced a particularly awesome moment of magic connection between crowd and rider:

I had several moments like that even from the top-level. By far my favorite was when I saw an elderly woman with 2 toddlers standing back from the crowd. I somehow managed to throw a Morpheus sheep far enough so that they could catch it. The woman was SO happy as she handed it to 1 of the kids. Due to the space/time vortex we’re in as the parade rolls, I was able to throw a Morpheus moon as well. She handed it to the other child & the 3 of them went crazy! Jumping up & down, DANCING, laughing, & having fun. They had no idea who threw the stuff & I didn’t care. It was just awesome that they were so happy.

Debbie & Her Krewe

Debbie & Her Krewe

Thus is the magic of Mardi Gras. Part of the impetus for this blog was to shed light on all the misconceptions floating around the non-Delta parts of this great nation, for it truly is a life affirming, community binding, spiritually nourishing beacon of light during the darkest part of the calendar. Yes, like our great nation its roots were intertwined with racism, violence, and condensation of the wealthy on the working class and poor. Like our great nation, it continues to struggle with many of these issues. Like our great nation, there are plenty of crass and classless citizens eager to besmirch its reputation while exploiting it for the lowest common denominator. But like our great nation, it is so much greater than a sum subtraction of its flaws, providing an oasis of hope and light in a harsh and unforgiving world.

And that concludes the soapbox portion of the program.

BLEACHER BUMS & MISSED OPPORTUNITIES TO SEE THE FUTURE

Lee Circle During Mardi Gras http://www.rrikbeck.com/new_orleans.htm

Lee Circle During Mardi Gras
http://www.rrikbeck.com/new_orleans.htm

Past the wide open expanse of Lee Circle (a traffic circle housing a statue upon a giant staired pedestal at its core) St. Charles Avenue narrows to a one-way street that flows Uptown except for the two weeks during Mardi Gras when a flood of parades rush down its final 8 block to Canal Street. Whereas St. Charles is the main artery running through Uptown, Canal is the other of the city’s two main cultural and commercial arteries (Bourbon is more famous, but carries little traffic and serves as more a [Read more…]

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Riding In a Mardi Gras Parade: Morpheus 2014, part 2

March 12, 2014 by

PREMATURE PROJECTILE DISORDER

Jefferson Avenue Rolls Down St. Charles

Jefferson Avenue Rolls Down St. Charles
(Courtesy of Kyle Pantuso)

As we turned away from the river onto Jefferson Avenue (our float’s namesake!) a small crowd was waiting, though we wouldn’t ‘officially’ be underway until we turned back downriver along Magazine Street. By now, though, the anticipation was killing us and we began tossing beads and a few specialty items to the modest crowd as we passed these four ‘unofficial’ blocks.

Magazine Street, like St. Charles and Tchoupitoulas, runs the entire length of Uptown paralleling the river, housing the main commercial artery of Uptown. We would follow it for nearly a mile, turn away from the river again onto Napoleon for seven blocks, and continue upriver via St. Charles for three miles back to Canal Street which divides the French Quarter from ‘downtown’ or the Central Business District. After turning down Canal towards the river for four blocks we’d turn back on Tchoupitoulas, ending where we began. (This should give you an idea of the parade box trapping much of Uptown that I’ve spoken of previously.)

Although Secure In My Manhood, I Must Admit Don's (Right) Was Bigger Than Mine

Although Secure In My Manhood, I Must Admit Don’s (Right) Was Bigger Than Mine (Left)

As we crept along Jefferson waiting to make that final turn past ‘Go,’ my mind raced trying to figure out how to ration my seemingly modest pile of throws. Don’s and Kim’s, were double mine in size, though I did note they had a lot of medium-sized inflated balls, fleur-de-lis footballs, and long toy spears that took up a lot of space but would go quickly. I’d collected bags of plain beads in all sizes and colors with a little help from my friends (Kyle, Kelly, & Aimee; K.R.A.P. at Nyx; Krewe du Brew; and two bags left over from Mardi Gras 2011 via my Jacksonville friends) and these are compact and small so I should be able stretch them out. Still, as we at long last we made that critical turn I tentatively threw plain beads along with a few blue & sliver Morpheus moon & star strands, terrified that in my excitement I’d blow my multi-colored load before we were halfway through!

THREE SHEETS TO THE SOLAR WIND

My Bead Magnets (& Kyle) Back At Work At Lee Circle

My Bead Magnets (& Kyle) Back At Work At Lee Circle

I don’t now if it was the VH1 incident or a flat tire on a float or something else, but it was around 8:30 by the time we started to roll. Kyle and Aimee would text from Lee Circle where they were waiting at 10:08 (though I wouldn’t see the text until after the parade) to see if we had in fact been cancelled. Apparently there was a long wait after Krewe D’etat and much of the crowd was leaving. By then, though, we were well underway.

In 2011 My Jacksonville Friends Lustily Catching Beads I'd Throw Back in 2014

In 2011 My Jacksonville Friends Lustily Catching Beads I’d Throw Back in 2014

As we now crept in motion, I was definitely in full party mode. Even after a year of living in New Orleans I rarely drink to the point of true intoxication, yet had sailed through Chewbacchus three sheets to the solar wind and had lustily hit the open bar at Generations Hall while I rocked out to Bag of Donuts. On the float I had kept the spirit alive with beer and Jello shots. Once we were rolling in earnest, however, I wouldn’t even pause to think of taking a sip, completely oblivious that I had a beer open. In fact, once we started I didn’t think we were ever going to stop!

K.R.A.P. Lends A Hand

K.R.A.P. Lends A Hand

I’ve seen enough Mardi Gras parades to know that most of them cruise along for a while, get held up for a few minutes, start back up, and soon stall again. I don’t think this is by design and can be frustrating to viewers caught up in a frenzy of bead lust but provides time to reload and regroup if you’re a rider. Or so I guess. Perhaps it was that we were late or maybe we had unusually good fortune and a clear path, but once we hit Magazine we didn’t stop until we were almost downtown.

TIME WARPS…

I beg forgiveness for any distortions of time or space that have occurred in this recounting so far. They’re only going to get worse from here on out!

My heart was pumping with excitement as we began to greet the crowds, and my mind raced trying to soak it all in, struggling to process the instant bombardment of pleas from the people piled several rows deep on the sidewalk. It felt like we were doing 70 mph as we zoomed past the eager faces and outstretched hands, yet in actuality we would travel a paltry 5 miles in about two and a half hours, which is slower than I walk!

Footage of Frantic Crowds Taken From Atop Our Float: Courtesy of Debbie Cleary Raynor

I had been advised to [Read more…]

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Riding In a Mardi Gras Parade: Morpheus 2014, part 1

March 10, 2014 by

THE REVENGE OF MAX HEADROOM

Beads Hung To Tantalize The Crowds

Setting Up In Tight Quarters

For our theme of Morpheus Cruises the Streets of New Orleans I was riding on float #6: Jefferson Avenue. To add a little extra flair to our Jeffersonian theme (and surely surpass the minimum required 15 pieces of flair), float lieutenant Kim Morgan glued a glitter outlined replica of the Declaration of Independence to the top of each hat. As I boarded the float in front of Generations Hall, though, there was a minor problem. I couldn’t stand up!

Although I didn’t have a tape measure, I’m pretty sure the clearance on the bottom level was about 6’6” between the horizontal rafters which hung much lower. I’m 6’4” so when I tried to stand my Declaration pushed against the ceiling, and I was certain I was going to knock myself out before the end of the ride on one of the low hanging impediments.

Jefferson Avenue Parked Outside Generations Hall

Jefferson Avenue Parked Outside Generations Hall

Waving in Kim’s direction, I informed her I needed to perform surgery, but she was so frazzled trying to wrangle the krewe in place that she just shrugged with a look of exasperation. “Do what ya gotta do!”

She’d used some mighty powerful glue, though, and the thick foam board wouldn’t detach so I finally ripped it in half. Even with the document removed, the top of my Shriners-style hat scraped the ceiling. And such are the tight quarters on a Mardi Gras float.

50 SHADES OF PURPLE, GREEN, & GOLD (ONE MAN’S TORTURE IS ANOTHER MAN’S TITILLATION)

Where Do The Riders Stand?!

Where Do The Riders Stand?!

I didn’t realize until Thursday loading day how tightly packed riders are, having little room left to stand once they load aboard all the goodies they’ll throw back to the crowd. Yet we’d be squeezed on here for at least six hours with nowhere to sit while wearing itchy costumes, plus masks for about half that time. (Legally masks must be worn during the parade, but the wait is just as long as the ride!)

Floats Under Construction At Mardi Gras World

Floats Under Construction At Mardi Gras World

Back in August I witnessed the actual construction of such a float while visiting and posting about Mardi Gras World. These giant jolly rolling boxes are framed with steel I-beams atop a trailer chassis, then the sides and center stairwell are filled out with plywood. Mercifully portalets are also built into the frame.

The upstairs is open above the waist-high wall but the floor creates a low ceiling below lined with hooks for hanging beads. Although convenient for storage, these bead repositories are really meant to tantalize the crowd so they can view the specialty beads that many will beg for but few will receive; however, an unintended but equally important function is served as the beads create a barrier and visual cue that keeps you from knocking yourself out on an I-beam, as I feared!

Aimee and Blue NinjaThe barrier is also waist-high below and is drilled with holes where you can screw in additional hooks, though I learned you needed to purchase these yourself. Eye hooks are sunk at regular intervals atop this wall for attaching your harness–you must remain strapped during the route or police can pull you from the float. (And that past Sunday two unharnessed riders had toppled off, as mentioned previously.)

Being strapped in such a tiny rolling box in cloying costumes while on your feet all day serving an encroaching mob of screaming strangers almost sounds like punishment. At the very least you’d think it was a crummy high school summer job at some local theme park; yet we had all paid good money for this privilege and were psyched out of our minds to do so, some traveling from all corners of the country. Again it’s good to note that Mardi Gras is [Read more…]

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Mardi Gras 2014: Fueling Up For Krewe of Morpheus Parade With A Bag of Donuts

March 7, 2014 by

TOO TIRED TO GREASE A POLE

Welcome to Bourbon Street!

Welcome to Bourbon Street!
(No Wonder We Were Moving Slow!)

The night before my big day with Morpheus my friend Aimee had driven from Jacksonville for her first Mardi Gras, bringing nephew Kyle who is in law school there. His girlfriend, Kelly, flew in from San Antonio where they’re all from (though she was born in Baltimore) and it was the couple’s first trip to New Orleans at all. Thus, I’d rushed them to the Muses parade and then took them for their first (and only of the trip) obligatory stroll down Bourbon Street as is legally required of first timers. I wanted their first night in town to be memorable—mission accomplished (more on this in future posts)—but we stayed out much later than was wise before such a monumental day, for I’d been warned that riding on a Mardi Gras float was the longest—though greatest—day ever.

Thus Friday morning we missed the ‘Greasing of the Poles.’ Pole Greasing

For 44 years now the Royal Sonesta Hotel on Bourbon Street has been greasing the poles supporting their balcony to discourage onlookers seeking a better view, and I wanted to take the gang to see this spectacle although I was skeptical before they arrived that we’d actually get moving in time. The Greasing of the Poles began when parades used to roll through the narrow streets of the French Quarter before they grew too big and moved Uptown, yet the ceremonial ‘greasing of the poles’ continues. (And, besides, there’s still plenty to see on Bourbon, per the much publicized flashing that is mostly contained to this area.) New Orleans loves an excuse to party, so the suggestiveness of [Read more…]

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